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Contact the Pirate Guys

Avast! TLAPD is upon us, so ye may not hear back from us right away.

Ol' Chumbucket and Cap'n Slappy are actually two reasonably well-adjusted middle-aged guys who are trying to take what started as a small private joke and turn it into a productive job.

Until recently, the guys both lived in Oregon's mid-Willamette Valley, where they got to know each other some years back through the local community theater, and have been pals ever since. Mark's a single feller, and John has a large family, including some nearing college age who sincerely hope he makes some money off this harebrained idea. In summer 2008, the Chumbucket family hoisted anchor and relocated to St. Croix, US Virgin Islands. Speaking of harebrained ideas.

In 2002, the guys self-published a book that sold enough copies to attract the attention of a publisher. Their second book, Pirattitude, was published in 2006 by New American Library, a division of Penguin. and their third, The Pirate Life, came out in August 2008 from Citadel Press.

Ye can find their e-mail links at the bottom o' the page, along with guidlines for submittin' material for this site. News media are directed to our Press Room for information about Talk Like A Pirate Day.

But first, since so many* of ye have been askin', here are the Pirate Guys in the flesh:

Cap'n Slappy (left) and Ol' Chumbucket (right)

(The Lusty Wench reminds the ladies that Chumbucket is a happily married father of six.
Cap'n Slappy is still lookin', but not very hard, and not on the Internet.)

*"Many" = Well, one or two. Maybe three.

E-mail us:

[Note: Cap'n Slappy requests that ye not send him photographs, as he is technologically inept and file attachments keep chokin' his computer. Photos for our gallery should be sent to the WebWench.

And if ye're thinkin' o' sendin' us your favorite pirate joke? We'll pass, thanks. Trust us, we've heard it. Especially if the punchline goes, "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts." Instead, try]


Cap'n Slappy
Mark "Cap'n Slappy" Summers


Ol' Chumbucket
John "Ol' Chumbucket" Baur

Interested in a personal appearance by the Pirate Guys? Here's how.

Radio (and TV) interviews: Contact Mad Sally - and plan in advance. In the days around Sept. 19 each year, the schedule fills fast and we may not be able to accommodate last-minute request. NOTE: The guys have day jobs, and may not be able to schedule last-minute interviews.

Subscribe to The Poopdeck, the pirate guys' e-mail newsletter. (No fancy HTML, mateys, just plain ol' text - and we won't share yer address with a soul!). Just go to:

and fill in the requisite information . Make sure yer usin' a valid e-mail address, or ye'll never get the thing!

(Back issues o' the Poopdeck are available here).

Comments or questions about our site? Contact the Webwench (who vows to keelhaul all spammers who venture into her waters, arrrrrr).

Submitting material for this site

Plannin' a big party for Talk Like A Pirate Day? Have a great story about how ye showed yer pirattitude? Want to share yer pirate photo with the world? We welcome yer submissions, but please follow these guidelines.


  • Send us one (that's ONE) photo of yer Talk Like A Pirate Day fun, in .jpg format. If ye feel ye've got more than one photo worth showin the world, get yer own Flickr account and add them to the TLAPD Flickr group.

    The Webwench, who never gets to have any fun on Talk Like A Pirate Day 'cause she's so busy updatin' the Web site, (poor Webwench! Send rum!) begs " Fer the love o' the Flyin' Spaghetti Monster, when we say "send one," we don't mean "send a bunch and tell us to pick one." Me mailbox is explodin'! From here on out, any message with more than one attachment gets heaved overboard!"
  • Include a bit o' information: Who are these people (pirate names are OK to protect the guilty)? What are they doing? Where in the world are they doing it? Don't worry about "why" - we know why.
  • Clear images only, please. No blurry phone-cam photos!
  • Scanty-clad wenches (and pirates) are fine, but no porn, please. The kiddies look at these things, f'r the love o' Blackbeard.
  • Big pictures are OK - but please don't send tiny ones, 'cause they look like crap when we enlarge 'em.
  • Photos should be e-mailed as .jpg attachments to the WebWench. Don't send 'em to Cap'n Slappy or Ol' Chumbucket. They can't deal with 'em.
  • Don't send us videos - we don't have the bandwidth to host them. Intead, put 'em on YouTube, and link up to the Official Wench's community there!
  • if yer picture's already in our gallery from years past, don't send it again.


Want to tell the world about yer plans for TLAPD? Got a great story about how ye celebrated? Send it to the Webwench


Contact the WebWench t'get yer pirate-related site listed on our links page. We'd appreciate a link on your site in exchange. Please note: We're only listin' pirate sites, an' we're not interested in banner exchanges at this time. Nor do we sell ads on this site. Don't bother asking.

Ask Cap'n Slappy

Got a question about TLAPD or life in general? Need help with yer pirate lingo, or keepin' yer shipmates in line? Ask Cap'n Slappy.


Contact Ol' Chumbucket.