The Poopdeck


The Talk Like A Pirate Day Newsletter
Published when the fancy strikes
Ol' Chumbucket, ed.
ISSUE NO. 1
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WELCOME TO THE POOP DECK

Avast! This is the official electronic newsletter for International Talk Like a Pirate Day. In reality, it’s just a chance for the Pirate Guys - Ol’ Chumbucket and Cap’n Slappy - to let you know what’s going on with plans to celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day this Sept. 19 (and EVERY Sept. 19) and just generally be silly and vulgar and share the results with you.

The Poop Deck will bring you all the poop on International Talk Like a Pirate Day. We'll be shipping it out to you every now and then, maybe monthly, maybe more often, probably less, but certainly not anything like regularly. That’s our promise to you – a big surprise every now and then!!!

You're receiving this inaugural issue of The Poop Deck because you signed up for it on our Web site, www.talklikeapirate.com or some kind soul signed you up. If you don't want it, there are instructions for how to unsubscribe at the end of this e-mail. But if you read through, we think you'll be happy you're a member of the crew, or at least won't mind it so much.

Please forward this on to anyone you know who would LIKE to receive it, remembering of course that spam is the curse of the world, a blight worse than scurvy, so you don't want to be sending it to just everybody. But if you know someone you think really would be happy to get this rambling missive, by all means ship it to him or her.

Better yet, refer 'em to http://www.talklikeapirate.com/contact.html where they can sign up to receive it themselves.

And if you have any comments, ideas for the site or special plans for Sept. 19 that you want to share, drop a note to chumbucket@talklikeapirate.com and we'll get 'em in the following editions, assuming there are some. We can't write this thing all by ourselves!!


TLAP IS ONLINE!

Thanks to our brilliant Web master Pat (or as we like to call her, the Web Wench) International Talk Like a Pirate Day is now online. If you're receiving this newsletter from us instead of a forward from a friend, you already knew that because you had to go to the site to sign up, but bear with us while we brag a bit to swabbies who are receiving it as a forward.

The site includes a (very) abbreviated history of the holiday, a few tips on talking like a pirate, an interactive quiz, links to some other pirate oriented Web sites, and – (ta daa!!!) our advice column, "Ask Cap'n Slappy." This is the only column which 100 percent guarantees that all advice will be alcohol fueled. It's just another service to you, our many fans, who now won't have to waste time wondering whether or not to follow Slappy's suggestions. Obviously, don't. You can write to him on any subject – personal relationships, health, auto mechanics, home decorating, that funny sound you make when you bend at the waist – he is equally qualified to discuss any of these things.

Ask Cap'n Slappy has proven to be a HUGE hit, garnering scores of questions in just the first couple of days. Slappy has faithfully adhered to his guarantee of answering all questions under the influence of his favorite malted beverage (he's partial to Rogue Brewery's "Dead Guy Ale," but we don't yet have an official beer for Talk Like a Pirate Day. Any brewers out there want to deliver huge sums of money to us for the privilege? No? Well, we didn't really think so, but it was worth asking.)

The Web site was the idea of our good friend Gary (Cap'n Grumpy to his friends) who suggested Cap'n Slappy buy the name www.talklikeapirate.com. Slappy did so, and then we sat on it for several months, not sure what to do next. Enter Pat, a professional Web designer and friend (not necessarily in that order,) who agreed to lend her expertise to the venture.

Also, a lot of credit must go to Ol' Chumbucket's wife, the official Lusty Pirate Wench. It was she who lit the fire under us to actually DO SOMETHING with this idea. Chumbucket and Slappy talked about a Web site, the Lusty Wench enlisted Pat's aid. Chumbucket and Slappy talked about writing a book – the Lusty Wench went out and contacted literary agents until she found one who was interested in the manuscript – which meant we had to write it. (No publisher has actually BOUGHT the book yet, but, hey, at least we have an agent now.)

(The Web Wench notes here that she's spotted a trend. The Pirate Guys dream stuff up, but the Wenches get the work done.)

And lots of props (as the young folks say) to our close personal friend, Pulitzer Prize winner Dave Barry (Redbeard Barry, the Mad Scribbler,) who kick started this thing by writing about us last September in his column. The fact that he specifically said we needed medication didn't bother us a bit, since it's true. If we ever actually meet him, we will thank him with a frothy cold one.

Finally, a few kudos must go to our friend Brian (no pirate nickname as of this writing) who has to be considered the godfather of Talk Like a Pirate Day, not to mix metaphors or anything. Slappy and Chumbucket came up with the idea, but it was Brian who wrote it on his calendar and reminded us year in and year out that the day was coming up. Without him, we have to admit, ITLAP Day might not have survived to become ... well, to become whatever it's become.


WE GET MAIL

We received the following electronic epistle from a pirate-talkin' fella by the name of Eric. Thought it was worth sharing, for it makes clear the fun - and the danger - of talking like a pirate.

"Some years ago a friend from work came back from visiting a relative in Alaska. While there, his relative's buddies came over - and spent the afternoon pirate talking. 'What's the deal?' he asked. 'Well matey .... here be the tale' they replied. Turns out they'd first tried pirate talkon a fishing trip in the Alaska gulf. A VERY rough fishing trip. Waves 30 feet high, rough. (The waves may have grown an inch or two in the telling). Not surprisingly, almost everyone on the boat was deathly seasick, all the other passengers, even the first mate. The captain was looking pretty green too. But not my friend's relative and his buddies. They were up at the bow fishing up a storm, drinking beers and talking pirate talk.

Lots of pirate talk! Loud, happy, boisterous pirate talk.

As you say, lots of fun.

At least til they heard a metallic click behind them.

The click was a real serious Captain holding a shotgun. I think the Captain's words were something along the line of 'Knock off the pirate talk or ye be feeding the fishys'.

As you say, pirate talk is lots of fun.

But not THAT much fun.

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FATHER'S DAY BOOTY AT talklikeapirate.com

Aarrr! We hate to be mentioning this in so crassly a commercial way, but if yer stuck for something to give yer old dad fer Father's Day (it's June 15th this year) there's plenty of appropriate booty at our Web site. Perhaps yer old man would like a T-shirt with "Aarrr!" scrawled across it, or some boxers bearing the motto, "Well Blow Me Down." Slappy has already purchased himself a fine set of beer mugs from the site (you can never have too many beer mugs,) and Ol' Chumbucket has his eye on the black ballcap with the Jolly Roger.

If you're a wench trying to think of a gift for yer matey, may we suggest there are a couple of items of a personal nature you could buy for yerself that would make him very happy.

So take a look at the many fine products available at our... oh hell, that's about as much hucksterism as we can muster for one newsletter. Just take our word for it. The stuff is there if you're interested. Just click over to the "Pirate Booty" section.


INTERNATIONAL? YES, REALLY

When we first started all this nonsense way back in 1995, we called it “National Talk Like a Pirate Day” (and Brian still has the first e-mail to prove it.) We liked the sound of it.

But when OCPFPPW Dave Barry wrote a column about us last year (to stop us from pestering him, we assume) the floodgates were opened. We were interviewed by radio stations across the country and around the globe. There is now an official British Web headquarters for the holiday (you can link to it from our site) and the interest keeps growing. In May we found out that OCPFPPW Dave Barry is listing us in his 2004 desk calendar (they'll be out in time for Christmas and make GREAT stocking stuffers for ALL your friends and relatives! Is that blatant enough?) and we'll be listed in next year's Chase's Calendar of Events.

Just this past week, after the launching of the Web site, we received an e-mail from Terry Brown, a reporter on Australia's Herlad & Sun - which he points out is the largest circulation newspaper south of the equator. He has signed on to sail the seas of misadventure on our quest. He adds, "Ah already got me a ship's dog. It be named Stumpy!"

So get on board! Mark your calendar now, and on Sept, 19 (it's a Friday this year, great for parties) TALK LIKE A PIRATE! Otherwise, on Sept. 20 you'll be measured for chains!!


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