The Poopdeck

The Talk Like A Pirate Day Newsletter
Published when the fancy strikes
Ol' Chumbucket, ed.
ISSUE NO. 12 July 16, 2004
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In this edition:

  • Our book is online!!!!
  • What the critics are saying. Or would if they were alive.
  • A word from the Web Wench
  • Off to Seattle!!

Buy Your Copy of the Book Online Now!!!

Our book, Well Blow Me Down: A Guy's Guide to Talking Like a Pirate, is finally available online. You can order it by going to and clicking over to our pirate booty store. Early reaction has been extremely positive (someone really did call it "drop-dead funny." Everywhere we've been able to get it on the shelves, it flies right out the door. But we're just two guys with limited means, so getting it on shelves is a slow process.

This is your chance to pick up the book NOW and get ready to share in the fun as this year's Talk Like a Pirate Daty approaches (and remember - we'll be celebrating the whole weekend this year, because Sept. 19 falls on a Sunday.

What the critics are saying

Here's what some of the critics have been saying, or probably would have if they were still alive:

.... Such insight! If only I had as strong a grasp of the human condition!" - Sigmund Freud

.... "Oh, the book you should have - the book you should read /Is the Pirate Guys' first one - oh, buy it, with speed!" - Dr. Seuss

.... "It is the best of books, it is the silliest of books." Charles Dickens.

.... "It is for me a dark and native shame/ that I did not on pirates focus place./ I've naught but self and hubris now to blame 'and in this light my "Hamlet's" a disgrace." -William Shakespeare

.... "Buy the book. Or die. In the rain." - Ernest Hemmingway

Wow. That's high praise indeed. All we can add to that is, you really should order a copy. Possibly several copies to give away to friends, if you have any.

Seriously, we think you'll enjoy it, and we'll be thankful to all of you who order it and get a few copies off our hands. There are enough copies stocked up aboard our ship, the Festering Boil, that we've considered building a book fort out of them, putting Slappy inside, and asking people to buy a book to "Free Slappy!" But that strikes us as a bit too whiny, ya know? So we'll just say once more, the book is available online at, at the Borders, Barnes & Noble and Amazon sites, and leave it to you to do what's right.

But we'd point out that at $10.95 it's a steal, and steal is what pirates do best.

A word from the Web Wench

The Web Wench, who looks after our site and loves all Internet users except the ones who send spam and viruses and other foul things, has a comment to make.

Apparently our e-mail addresses have been harvested again by people who use them to mask the viruses they send out. Anyone who opened an attachment thinking it was from us and got a virus instead, we are truly sorry, but it wasn't us. Really.

Jezebel (as the Web Wench likes to be called, even though her name is Pat) reminds you again of a couple of basic tips of smart computer use.

  • DO NOT OPEN ATTACHMENTS. Even if the attachment seems to come from someone you know. If you're not expecting an attachment, and especially if you don't know the sender - DO NOT OPEN IT. If you do know the sender, contact him or her and ask if they sent you something and if so, what it is.
  • GO BACK AND READ 1 AGAIN. Really, it's that important. Especially, do not any unsolicited attachments with .exe, .scr, .pif or .vbs anywhere in the file name.
  • BE PARTICULARLY SUSPICIOUS when the sender appears to be a friend but the message is something terse or innocuous, like "Here's the file you asked for" or "A photo you should see" or some such. C'mon folks! You know us! We write a LOT more colorfully than that!
  • BUY YOURSELF some good anti-virus software, keep it up to date and use it. Yeah, Mac users, too. If you're usin' Microsoft Outlook to read yer e-mail, consider acquiring something else - Outlook is by far the No. 1 target of e-mail viruses and worms.

REST ASSURED that neither Cap'n Slappy or I will EVER send you an attachment. EVER. If you get something that purports to be from us and it has an attachment, it's not from us. Delete it immediately. You can let us know if you want to, but sadly, there's not a damn thing we can do about it short of changing our e-mail addresses, and those will eventually be harvested as well.

Pirate Guys hit Seattle!!

In our never ending and shameless efforts to sell the book, Cap'n Slappy and meself will be in Seattle from July 26 through August 1, as guests of the Seafair Pirates. Seafair is the city's big summer celebration, and since Cap'n Slappy was born and raised on the waters of Puget Sound, the Pirates have invited us to take part in their fun - a lot of which seems to involve drinking. The highlight will be 7 p.m. July 31, when we will take part in the Torchlight Parade through downtown Seattle.

And we'll be signing books and making appearances around the city - including at Pirates Plunder, a store on the pier. Not bad for a couple of guys who were just playing some racquetball and got carried away, hih?

Anyway, if you're in the area and see us stumbling around, stop by and say hello!

And remember, the book is available online at last, and we'd really like it if you'd buy a copy or two.

-- Ol' Chumbucket