The Poopdeck

If yer like us, ye'll have a devils own time deciding what to get friends and family for Christmas this year. May we suggest a stop at our online shop?

We've got a fine line of T-shirts and other gear available, including a special Christmas T-shirt featuring our dancing pirate and an appropriate holiday-like phrase. (And I've gotta add that three of my offspring will be receiving the Cap'n Slappy wall clock this Christmas. If ye haven't seen it yet, get right over and give it a look. Tis a thing of beauty indeed. Don't tell my kids!)

Of course, it goes without saying that we think our book, "Well Blow Me Down: A Guy's Guide to Talking Like a Pirate," is as fine a gift as you could hope to give. If anyone on yer list has been especially good, they probably deserve a copy or two. Hell, even if they've been bad. Maybe it's just the thing they need to fix 'em up. Unless you don't want to fix 'em, in which case, I dare say our book will keep 'em just the way you want them. In any case, you definitely should buy one for each of yer friends, if you have any.

And that's all the promotional writing I can stand for one issue of the Poopdeck. Really, I'm way over my limit and I'll stop with that now.

New Book Nearly Complete

That's right, a new book will be on the way next year. Consider yerself warned! Cap'n Slappy and I are proud to announce that we are nearly finished with a new volume of piratical nonsense. The big news is, this one is slated to be published by New American Library, a division of Penguin Books.

"PIRATTITUDE: From Ahoy to Zanzibar, Your Personal Guide to All Things Pirate," takes up where "Well Blow Me Down" leaves off, with plenty of suggestions for how to celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day. The manuscript includes party hints, horoscopes, quizzes, a pirate IQ test, fashion tips, and tons more of the tomfoolery that has become our trademark. Whether the book will actually contain those things, whether it will even be called that, is still somewhat up in the air, since we now have an editor who will have a to say about the finished product.

We are within a couple of chapters of being done, we think it's pretty funny stuff, and we'll keep you updated on its progress through the editorial and publishing process.

Speaking of Christmas

We try to be even handed in endorsing things, because there are hundreds of pirate products out there and we can't possibly see them all so it doesn't seem fair to endorse one or two (certainly not for free, anyway.) But we've recently run across a pirate game that might make the perfect gift for someone who already has our book. It's the Dread Pirate game, by Seattle-based Front Porch Classics. The game comes in a handsome wooden chest, with a cloth map for the playing board, metal ships and colored jewels. The game is easy enough for youngsters (I've played it with me kindergarten-aged son, Pirate Max, several times and he loves it) but still fun for us older folks, who enjoy attacking ships and raiding treasures and the like.

It's not cheap – either in construction or price. The game is a handsome thing that you'll leave out for people to see. But it's also a tad spendy, just shy of $100 at most online purveyors.

You can check out the game and find out where to buy it (mostly online) by going to their Web site.

Or you could buy your friends several copies each of our book.

On the Road

Cap'n Slappy and I have been on the road quite a bit these last few months and have more engagements lined up for the winter. Most recently we performed at Ship-Ashore, a coastal resort/hotel/mobile home park in Smith River, California, where we gave the world premiere of "The Drunken Slappy Rap," an unholy marriage of traditional sea chanty and rap music. The audience seemed to like it (OK, the audience was mostly drunk, but they didn't throw stuff and later bought us many beers, so we'll take that as a good sign.) The trip also included a stop for a signing at Gold Beach Books, in Gold Beach Oregon. It's a year-old store in a fairly isolated part of the Oregon Coast, and I've gotta say it's as nice a bookstore as I've been in recently. Really a nice place, and a nice, appreciative crowd. We also recently performed for a local software company which was celebrating the release of a new product. I don't know the etiquette for this kind of thing, whether you're supposed to name the company, so I'll leave it at that. It was a fun night and the software code writers seemed to have a great time.

We've got a short time off from performing, but things will begin heating up again after the first of the year and, between performances, the book release and some personal things, it's beginning to look as if next summer is already filling up. If this keeps up, Slappy and I might not have to get real jobs, at least not for a while. Here's hoping!

-- Ol' Chumbucket, ye ed.