The Poopdeck

The Talk Like A Pirate Day Newsletter
Published when the fancy strikes
Ol' Chumbucket, ed.
Special edition, June 25, 2006
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Buccaneer Bachelor Begins!!!!

Come join the fun this summer as 22 vivacious, lusty, wanton wenches (and believe me, I've read their entry forms and these wenches are wanton!) compete for the heart, the hand, the hook or some other part of Cap'n Slappy in a little game we call:

Buccaneer Bachelor!

The fastest growing quiz sensation in the online world!

It's a little like that ABC "reality" show "The Bachelor," except Slappy isn't getting together with the ladies (for want of a better word) in Paris, France, or even in Paris, Texas. We're doing the whole thing online and it should be more fun than watching a peg-legged pirate at a butt-kicking convention.

Each week Slappy will pose a question to the lively lasses and they will respond. He will then look at their entries - no, let me rephrase that - he will read the answers they've written, and sadly eliminate some of them. Finally, on September 19th, he will pick the lucky, lusty, lovely to be the piratical partner in life.*

(*Results may vary. Under the terms of the contest rules, which we change periodically at our whim, the winner is not legally required to marry Slappy, date him, meet him or even necessarily be in the same time zone as him for the purposes of the contest.)

We actually have some "fabulous" prizes. The winner, besides winning the rights to Slappy, gets a pirate hat from Pyrate Leatherworx ( a medallion crafted by Sid Stevens Jewelers (our favorite hometown goldsmith) a signed copy of our book, a signed photo of Slappy and a Buccaneer Bachelor T-shirt.)

Last week Slappy posed his first question to the saucy swabs and they had until Saturday, June 24, to craft their replies. He is going over them right now and on Monday he'll make his first cut. He hates to do it, hates wasting all these panting pirate princesses, but somebody's got to do it.

The first question was: "You're packing a treasure chest full of personal treasures that you hope Cap'n Slappy digs. What are the items that MUST go in the chest and why?" The wench's responses are posted right now at

Check out for details, then follow the link to the blog where the contest will be played out. It's at

Until next time,
Ol' Chumbucket