The Poopdeck

The Talk Like A Pirate Day Newsletter
Published when the fancy strikes
Ol' Chumbucket, ed.
ISSUE NO. 33 (No matter what Chumbucket says) July 72006
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32 Days Until International Talk Like a Pirate Day!!!

Wench Swap – Pirates Capture ABC!

We are almost completely recovered now from our reality TV experience and have been given permission by the network to tell you about the show.

We did an episode of ABC's "Wife Swap " which of course we call "Wench Swap." We are told the episode will be the first of the season – airing Sept. 18, just in time for everyone's favorite holiday, International Talk Like a Pirate Day! How perfect is that?

My wife, Mad Sally, went south to the very orderly, organized and beige home of a very orderly and organized (not to say lifeless, dull, and non-piratical) family, while that family's plastic wife/mother came north to the chaotic, messy, unorganized pirate home of the saucy, salty Baurs. Hilarity, as the saying goes, ensues.

We stood up for pirates everywhere, and there will be moments when pirate fans cheer, others when they seethe with anger! Maybe even brush away a tear? Or say, "What the hell was THAT all about?" So watch "Wife Swap" Monday, Sept. 18, 8 p.m. Eastern and Pacific time, 7 p.m. Central and Rocky Mountain. Then drop us a message in a bottle and tell us what ye think.

We'll have more to say about the experience and many people to thank in the coming weeks.

Buccaneer Bachelor down to final six!

Speaking of reality TV, our own contest – Buccaneer Bachelor, – is heating up as we get down to the final weeks. We started the summer with 22 lovely lasses (we assume they're all lasses, it's on the honor system) willing to vie for the heart, hand or some other piece o' Cap'n Slappy, and to win "fabulous" prizes.

We're down to the final six, a half dozen saucy wenches who have let nothing stand in their way in their quest for Slappy's booty. If you haven't been reading, check out the blog! The Cat Fight as incredible, and the submissions in the literary contest last week were amazing! Now we've asked the wenches to write their own epitaphs, and we can't wait to see what they come up with!

The top five will all win autographed copies of our book, "Pirattitude!" And there are plenty more "fabulous" prizes to parcel out as we get down to the final female filibuster who will win the Buccaneer Bachelor!

Are You From Toronto?

We got an e-mail from a reporter from the Metroland, Durham Region Media Group in Ontario ( Canada. She's looking for someone with whom she can do an on-camera interview about Talk Like a Pirate Day, presumably in costume. While we've done a lot of interviews with Toronto stations and received a lot of e-mail, we don't know really anyone to recommend to her. I told her I'd put it out on the Poopdeck. If you're interested, send me an e-mail and I'll forward it on to her. You can write to me at

Ol' Chumbucket's Book Club

"The Sea Witch," by Helen Hollick, BookForce UK, $12.91

Helen Hollick’s new novel has something for everyone.

“The Sea Witch” is part pirate tale, part romance, part historical novel, part a story of witchcraft and magic, and probably a couple of other things I’m not quite clever enough to have noticed. She has created a terrific romantic swashbuckling hero, Jesemiah Acorne, the sort who’ll have to be played by Orlando Bloom or a younger Brad Pitt, only with just a touch of inner angst which just makes him all the more irresistible to the ladies.

Especially one lady in particular. While there's plenty of swashbuckling and adventure in this yarn that spans the Atlantic and touches on four continents, , the main business of the book is the seemingly doomed romance between the buccaneer Jesemiah and the lovely white witch Tiola.

Hollick writes very good sea battles, which makes me wish she'd written more of them. In particular, the opening battle between the pirates and a well-armed merchant ship is quite good, despite the fact that the pirates lose. The way Hollick gives us the action without getting bogged down in details is excellent.

Alongside the two lovers are a cast of colorful characters – from pirates to evil lubbers and even a prim and proper governess. It all makes for a fun read as we get ready to celebrate again our favorite holiday, International Talk Like a Pirate Day.


Let us know what you have planned to celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and we'll get it posted on our Web site. Keep spreadin' the word, and the word is "Aarrr!!"

-- Ol' Chumbucket