In this issue:
Be the first one on your block! Or on your ship, or in your tavern!
Now you can pre-order your copy of our new book, "The Pirate Life: Unleashing Your Inner Buccaneer," the only book you'll ever need to learn how to find yer inner pirate, then let the dirty ol' buccaneer out to wreak havoc in daily life.
You don't get to be our ages without learning SOMETHING about life, and Cap'n Slappy and meself have opened the sluices for this one, pouring out the rich steamy compost of our combined knowledge to help you do all of the following and then some:
And many other very funny things that we just couldn't happen to think up an "ate" rhyme for.
"The Pirate Life" is the ultimate how-to, self-improvement book, with lessons for every phase of your life, from exercise to parenting. (Results may vary. Consult your doctor before attempting any life changes – but do NOT consult your attorney.)
Just listen to what this ol' loper had to say about it:
Can't argue with that, can you? Especially since it's hard to know what he means.
To pre-order, just visit our books page, follow the link for the book and it'll take you to Amazon, where you can place an early order. Then you'll be the first in your crew to have a copy. And don't forget to order extra copies for friends, if you have any. They'll want to read it too, if only to figure out what's wrong with you. (And yes, we cover the question "Are you crazy?" in the book.
There are also sections on pirates in business in which we make a point-by-point comparison between Blackbeard with Donald Trump, and sections on the origin of the species, pirate cooking, pirate story-telling, and – yes, we dare go there – we examine the famous pirate/ninja feud and suggest a way to bring peace to the warring factions. It's a plan that will make both pirates and ninjas happy, and piss off another group that sorely needs pissing off.
Order your copies now , and watch upcoming issues of The Poopdeck for more on our plans for pimping – I mean, marketing – the book. And we'll be running excerpts just so you can see what you're letting yourself in for.
That didn't take long. As soon as I moved away from Albany, Oregon, the city's visitor bureau decided to hold an Albany Riverfront Pirate Festival!
The event will take place this weekend, August 1, 2, 3, probably at Monteith Riverpark but no one tells me anything.
The festival will feature Albany's undisputed top pirate, Cap'n Slappy. (I can say that since I've moved, we don't have to argue about it.) Also on tap will be the pirates from B.O.O.M. (The Brotherhood of Oceanic Mercenaries) and their black powder, music and comedy and – our old shipmate and damn good friend, Captain Robert "Cockroach" Blair.
Like I said, I'm kinda far from the action and no one has filled me in on the details. To get further information, call the visitors association at 541-928-0911. Then get out to Albany!
Just a note that the Chumbucket Family is now happily ensconced on the island of St.Croix in the U.S. Virgin Islands, working to make the transition from visitors to residents. We're all adjusting in our own ways (and all keeping a wary eye on the tropical storms that swarm through the Caribbean this time of year.)
We're blogging our experiences, and you can follow the adventure by visiting our new blog.
Our Internet connection at the rental house has been spotty, so blogging has been equally spotty. But we're hoping that will be cleared up soon and then we'll be posting more regularly. We'll do what we can to keep all our well-wishers up to date.
And those who don't wish us well – up yours!
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