One Month Until International Talk Like a Pirate Day!
One Week Until The Release of Our New Book, "The Pirate Life"
In this issue
Pirates Invade Philadelphia
The City of Brotherly Love will become the City of Pirates next month when the
Pirate Guys – Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket – storm ashore to make
Phildelphia the world headquarters of this year's celebration of International
Talk Like a Pirate Day.
On Sept. 19 Slappy and I will be the guests of the Franklin Institute, which is
exhibiting the National Geographic display, "Real Pirates!" We'll actually
arrive in the city on Sept. 18, where we'll tour the exhibit and meet with
local media. On Friday, Sept. 19 (the holiday itself) and Saturday the 20th
we'll take over the museum, performing, singing (if that's what you want to
call what we do) reading from our new book, signing copies for those so
inclined, and much more.
The schedule is still up in the air, and there's plenty of room for surprises
and fun. If anyone in Philadelphia or the surrounding area knows of or (even
better) is planning any freebooter festivies or a buccaneer ball, let me know
by writing to firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll try to make an
"Real Pirates!" is the world’s first exhibition of authentic pirate treasure.
Created by National Geographic and the team that produced "Tutankhamun and The
Golden Age of the Pharaohs," “Real Pirates” tells the true story of the
Whydah, a pirate ship that foundered off the the coast of Cape Cod and was
discovered in 1984 by underwater explorer Barry Clifford.
The exhibit is at The Franklin in Philadelphia as part of its nationwide tour.
You can learn more about it online at www.piratesexhibit.com. Those interested
in joining us at the museum can purchase tickets for the exhibit online at
"Real Pirates!" displays more than 200 artifacts recovered from the ocean floor,
including treasure chests of jewelry, coins, and gold. Step on board a
recreation of the ship’s stern, walk into the Captain’s quarters, and go
below deck to discover what life was like aboard a real pirate ship!
C'mon out to the Franklin and visit with me 'n' Slappy this Sept, 19.
And don't forget to talk like a pirate.
Excerpts from "The Pirate Life: Unleashing Your Inner Buccaneer"
Our new book, "The Pirate Life," is the ultimate self-help book, showing readers
how to improve every aspect of their lives (results may vary) by applying some
pirate principles. Dating, politics, business, diet, health, and more. We give
you the benefit of our wisdom – and where we lack wisdom, we pretty much just
make it all up.
Here's some observations on the sexes from the introduction to "Chapter 4 – A
Girl in Every Port: Pirates and Dating."
"Dating can be as difficult as storming a well-armed merchantman. Aye,
there’s danger, there’s swirling smoke and fire and pointy things flying
past your head. At least if it’s a really good date. But if you are one of
the lucky ones who survive you will be rewarded in the best way a pirate can
– with plenty o’ booty!
"It is difficult for men and women to find common ground because their
needs and desires can be so different – she wants warmth and connectedness,
he wants her girlfriend’s phone number."
And who better than pirates to explain the intricacies of the American political
process? Pirates sort of invented democracy, after all. In our version, a pirate
runs for president, and we give all the advice needed – from choosing a party
to the big debate to the inaugural address.
Here's an excerpt from Chapter 8: Pirates and Politics. In this excerpt, we
discuss the difference between Republicans, Democrats and Pirates.
"Republicans are seen as being more pragmatic, more hard-nosed, more
competent, despite all kinds of evidence to the contrary. They get all kinds of
credit for their business backgrounds despite the fact that most of them are in
politics because they failed so spectacularly at running a business.
"Democrats are seen as more concerned about people, more attuned to the needs
of the poor than the wealthy (except when it comes to seeking campaign funds,)
and more caring and sensitive and are just generally big wusses, regardless of
whether it's appropriate in a given situation.
"Pirates are seen as more colorful, less predictable, more flamboyant, and
less concerned with what other people think about them. Focus groups and
opinion polls are lost on pirates. We have a “live for today because we’ll
probably all hang tomorrow” attitude that makes long-range planning more or
less an afterthought.
"Or, to put it another way, Republican administrations often remind us of
sitcoms, Democratic ones suggest prime time soap operas. And pirates? Ah,
pirates are swashbuckling adventure movies. Things blow up, a lot of people
die, there are thrills, you don’t want to watch but you can’t tear yourself
away from the screen. Yes, a Pirate administration will be a lot like a train
"The good kind of train wreck, of course – one you’ll just have to watch."
And there's lots more. (Of course there's more. That's only a couple of hundred
words. Even we couldn't get away with writing a book that short!) The book
includes a blueprint for writing your own swashbuckling pirate novel, a (we
think fairly brilliant) parody of a famous adventure novel/movie which we call
"The Davey Jones Code," and advice on diet and exercise and parenting and lots
"The Pirate Life: Unleashing Your Inner Buccaneer" will be released August 26 by
Kensington Books. You can pre-order your copy through our books page. And in one
week it will be available at all of the better sort of bookstore, the better
sort being defined as "a bookstore that carries our book."
We'll have a few more excerpts for you next week, and when (not if, when) you
get your copy you can bring it to us in Philadelphia and we'll be happy to
smear some ink on it, which is how we sign our names.
Thanks for helping to spread the word, and the word is "Aarrr!!"
-- Ol' Chumbucket, editor
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