The Poopdeck

The Talk Like A Pirate Day Newsletter
Published now and again
Ol' Chumbucket, ed.
ISSUE NO. 88 (I suppose), September 18, 2010
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Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day Eve!
Tomorrow Is International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

In this issue:

A Cool New Feature on

It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day Eve! And to celebrate, the Web Wench has just added the most wonderfully geeky techno bauble to the Web site.

Instead of having to look through a list to find an event in your area, you can now just click the map and read all about activities going on around the world. Nice work, Jezebel!

And believe me when I say there’s a ton of stuff pouring in. I’d love to tell you all about the news from The Giddy Kipper, and the concert in Denver, and all the other events going on around the world – both the real one and the online one. I’d like to tell you about the beer and cocktail blogs that have written us up, and all the other amazing mayhem you pirates are performing. But there’s just too much. There’s really only one solution - get to our Web site, and take a look for yerself!

There’s Always Help Available

Enjoy Talk Like a Pirate Day Weekend, but if anything happens that causes any existential doubt, any uneasiness, bad feelings, trouble with the law - ANYTHING - don’t forget that there’s always help available.

I refer, of course, to “Ask Cap’n Slappy,” the world’s only advice column in which the advice is posted by a pirate. Cap’n Slappy is sorta like Dear Abby, if Abby were a drunken bastard of a buccaneer instead of a nice, well-balanced woman with a staff o' ghostwriters.

Slappy stands ready to answer all your questions on ANY subject. Since the column started seven years ago he has given advice on love, friendship, crew discipline, parrot training, even auto mechanics. And while he may not know as much about cars as Click and Clack, or parrots for that matter, at least he admits right up front that all his answers are alcohol fueled. It’s all part of the service!

So if you have any question, any at all, on any subject, fire off an e-mail to him at with “Ask Cap’n Slappy” in the subject line, and he’ll commence to solving all yer problems.

Ye’ll be glad ye did.

A great deal

Walk into any Hot Topics store Sunday and talk like a pirate. They’ll give ye 10 percent off whatever yer purchasing.

It’s a great deal. I mean, you were gonna be talking like a pirate anyway, right? Might as well get 10 percent off on the price of a “Perry The Platypus” T-shirt fer doin’ it.

Quite a Coincidence

We all know today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day Eve. But did you know it’s also Wife Appreciation Day? S’true! A day to show the missus just how much she means to ye. I’m not makin’ this up. Our holiday is always on Sept. 19, so the eve is always the 18th. Their holiday is always the third Saturday of September. So every now and then they’ll coincide.

If you’re a pirate, you might want to review our video, “Wooing Wenches,” for Mad Sally’s advice on the best way to show that special woman in yer life just how important she is to ye! View it here:

The Ultimate Accolade

I’ve never received one o’ them honorary doctorates and I don’t expect to any time soon (although I AM available if any university has a mind ... hint hint.) But I just got the next best thing, and I didn’t even have to wear a cap and gown (with cutlass) to do it.

I’m in a math quiz! At Lakeside Elementary School in Pittsburg, Kansas, 4th grade teacher Babs Tims goes a little nuts each year for Talk Like a Pirate Day and does a day’s worth of piratey activities with the nippers. And this year one o’ the questions on the math quiz was, “If Ol’ Chumbucket can blow a man down in 20 seconds” (I presume she means via gunfire or cutlass or other piratey violence) “how many men can he blow down in 15 minutes?”

That’s up there with the New York Times Crossword Puzzle two years ago for ultimate geeky excitement! So let’s see - 20 seconds …. Hmm … She doesn’t say if the men are Spaniards, Frenchies or Englishmen … carry the two … four quarts of rum in a gallon, divide by 1588 (the year the Armada sailed for England) … The answer is …

A lot! That’s my answer and I’m stickin’ to it!

A Couple of Shout Outs

I know I’m askin’ for trouble, singlin’ out someone for a shoutout. But whilst bein’ interviewed by a reporter for a Montana newspaper, I promised her I’d give a shoutout to her son, who was mad with excitement when he learned his Ma was gonna be jawin’ with me. I don’t know why, but she said he was.

The problem is, I’m not the most attentive guy at the best of times, and the week leadin’ up to the holiday is even worse for me memory. So I don’t recall the nipper’s name off the top of me tricorn. It’s either Cory or Cody, I think the former, but I’m not certain. So let me just say –

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day, Cory/Cody Byron!

And to Noreen from Ohio, Happy TLAPDay to ye as well! May the plunder be rich, the swag so heavy ye can barely lift it, and the rum and ale cold!

That’ll be all fer now. Check out the Web site for events around the world, and stay tuned. Tomorrow is the day, and a Web site we know of is plannin’ to announce a great contest. We’ll be linkin’ to it tomorrow!

Until then, thanks for spreadin’ the word - and the word is “Aarrr!”

- Ol' Chumbucket, Ed.

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