The Poopdeck

The Talk Like A Pirate Day Newsletter
Published now and again
Ol' Chumbucket, ed.
ISSUE NO. 99, Sept. 19, 2011
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TODAY is International Talk Like a Pirate Day!!

In this issue:

Pirate Guys Plans

For weeks now we've been hounding you to let us know yer plans for the holiday, and you've responded like the champions we know you to be! You've kept the Web Wench hoppin' posting them all on the Big Calend-aarrr of Piratey Fun – which you can see at

I want to take this opportunity to mention OUR plans, and to invite you along if you're anywhere close at hand.

Cap'n Slappy and Jezebel the Web Wench will be at the Calapooia Brewing Co., the brew pub around the corner from his house in Albany, OR. Literally 150 paces at most. Makes the best beer anywhere. Certainly the best beer within 150 paces of Slappy's house! The fun begins about 6 p.m. and continues through 9 p.m.

On St. Croix, I will be the lucky rover escorting the lovely Mad Sally to Pirate's Tavern in the Salt River Marina. We'll be there at about 7 p.m. and continues as long as it takes us to eat dinner – although the restaurant closes at 9 on Monday so there's that. Captain Killy will be there, as will our daughter Millie and ever as many other pirates as show up.

A New Video Star is Born

While filming the "Drunken Sailor" video, which you can see at, we were inspired with the idea for a new series of short videos. Thus was born, "The Palm Pirates," featuring Cap'n Knuckles and Digit.

Yeah yeah, they're the same old jokes you've heard a couple of hundred times. That’s sort of the point – and I don't think they've ever been told quite this way. If nothing else, Mad Sally and I laughed a lot while we shot them.

We're planning for this to be a weekly series, as long as the jokes last. You can see the first two at

along with all the other Official Wench/The Pirate Guys videos. Check out our classic, "The Five As" and "Wooing Wenches," along with "The Palm Pirates and Drunken Sailor" and many more.

An Unusual Opportunity

Being "The Pirate Guys" has brought a lot of fun and crazy opportunities, great friendships and the occasional free drink – which we make it a policy not to turn down.

We recently got a new such opportunity. A fella wrote to us to say he was starting a cigar website with a pirate slant, and wanted to add us to his crew of reviewers. Now neither Cap'n Slappy or meself consider ourselves cigar connoisseurs, but we enjoy a good smoke now and again. And this fella offered to supply the cigars we're to review, and these are REALLY good cigars. Some of the best labels in the world. So how could we say no?

Slappy has already turned in his first review. I've been delayed because it's ALWAYS hard mailing stuff out to the islands, but I can't wait to get started.

You can see the site at

(Kids – Remember that smoking is bad and you should never, never do it. Even fine cigars. Adults – hey, that's why you're adult. Make your own decisions about it. We've made ours.)

Talk Like a Pirate Tune Up

Another tip for taking like a pirate this Sept. 19. Because ye've gotta get beyond "Arrr."

Today's tip – "Me." It's surprising, shocking even, how many people get this wrong. "Me" replaces "my" in the possessive, "I wants me grog!" It never never never – can I say that one more time? – NEVER replaces I as the subject. "Me wants grog." Are you kidding? That's for Talk Like a Caveman Day. Remember – "Me replaces my, but never I. Or I'll smack you with a me stick." (That was an example, not a threat.)

Bonus tip – The most potent weapon in your pirate vocabulary is "Aarrr." You're entirely free to use the letter A and the letter R as much as you want – "Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" is perfectly acceptable. But remember – No G! Arrgh is a sound of frustration and pain. It's the sound you make when you sit on a belaying pin. "Aarrr!" is defiance howled proudly out to the world. It says, "I'm here and alive, and if you have a problem with that, it's YOUR problem!"

Previous tips – Belay that!
Prepare to be boarded!
The captain's daughter
Take a caulk.

You'll find lots more such tips and treasures in our two books, "Pirattitude!" and "The Pirate Life," which you can purchase online through the links here –

So the holiday is here! Rejoice. Not everyone will get it some will disapprove. Don't let them get you down. Ater all, if everyone were a pirate, who'd be the prey?

- Ol' Chumbucket, editor